Paternal involvement a need, not a choice

Posed photo of a father with his two-month old son. PHOTO: ST FILE

While I appreciate the opinions on fatherhood expressed by Madam Lily Ong (Strike a balance in efforts to spur active fathering, Sept 4) and Ms Yeo Boon Eng (Taking paternity leave a personal choice, not a need, Sept 6), research evidence should be highlighted for a more balanced perspective.

Extensive research in many advanced societies has shown a strong correlation between not having an involved father and worse-off development outcomes for children, including crime and delinquency, drug and alcohol abuse, mental health problems and sexual promiscuity - all of which impose heavy costs on families and society.

A New York Times report, citing research done at the University of Oxford, reveals that, against widespread and deeply ingrained beliefs, new fathers undergo biological changes, hormonal and in the brain, when they welcome the arrival of a child.

Much of parenting is not instinctual for anyone, both mother and father, and the first days of parenthood present a steep learning curve that is a key transition in a parent's life.

Besides the recuperation after childbirth and breastfeeding, which mothers do exclusively, fathers similarly have to go through a process of getting attuned to an infant, learning what each of the baby's cries means, mastering diaper changes and getting used to frequent interrupted nights.

This process of getting the heart of a father turned towards his newborn child should not be underappreciated. Research conducted by the University of Denver surmised that "learning how to emotionally bond with his infant may particularly be an important part of becoming a father", because men do not experience the hormonal surges that accompany pregnancy and childbirth.

The United Nations Children's Fund has launched an Early Moments Matter campaign to encourage governments and companies to invest in family-friendly policies.

Progressive companies like Facebook, Novartis and Aviva have equalised maternity and paternity leave in recent years.

An increasing number of celebrity fathers have come out to share their stories of fatherhood, including former footballer David Beckham and Singapore's very own Gurmit Singh.

It is timely for Singapore society to have a mindset shift on this issue - paternal involvement in a child's upbringing is a need, not a choice.

Deborah Ong Siew Mei

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A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Straits Times on September 17, 2019, with the headline Paternal involvement a need, not a choice. Subscribe